I'd rather be with you

This morning, S made a good point about happiness, our happiness. It's not something to rub in people's faces, but people may be jealous, like people saying to S, "Talking to your girlfriend again?" when he's on the phone with me. Or his female coworker on trail who said, "If I had somebody I could talk to for three hours, I would marry them." I guess that's the idea. I'm incredibly happy, feel awesomely blessed, and it's not a contest with anyone. It's just my life, my love.

Preservation, digital collections issues

MINERVA web site to explore for next week's class.

Arizona Dept. of Library, Archives and Public Records. Preservation.

It's life's illusions I recall... I really don't know life at all

Gave myself a break from the homework for a bit after I completed the first draft of my paper, due Wednesday, on professional trends for librarians based on reading Online magazine. I'll do some clean-up work on it tomorrow, but for now, it's in the bag.

Now onto the next assignment and readings, even if they aren't due for weeks. I have this need to get ahead, that is, after I battle the procrastination back to reasonable amounts. As of this moment, I am exactly up-to-date with homework, but the chance to get ahead is there, and I'm going to take it.

Talking to S in the past few days has been awesome. He called last night after I'd fallen asleep, and we really only meant to talk for a little while, but that turned into a long while. This very serious relationship provides a lot of comfort and also a lot of questions, from both of us. I'm very happy dating S, and excited by all of the potential this relationshp has.

It ain't necessarily so

Along with the upcoming class on library collection development policies, I am working on an assignment to gague trends for librarians. We're to choose a serial publication from a list and then read/scan all its archives from 2005. I thought I might choose the magazine Public Libraries, but I've often said that if I ever find that magazine to be remotely interesting, I would appreciate it if somebody kill me, please. So I went on a search for a more interesting source, and I think I found it in the magazine, Online, which seems to be about trends in online technologies and resources. One of the articles I read was on Open Access, so I find it greatly congruent that anyone can read back issues of Online, well, online!

Apparently there was some sort of party which the chapel crew were going to after church, and someone asked if I was going. "No, I have homework," I replied. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, somehow starting a masters in the summer seemed like a good idea... It's lots of really nerdy library stuff. My coworkers at the library don't seem to mind it, though, and S says it's interesting."

"Wow, he must really love you!"

Handshakes and smiles

Some of my coworkers mentioned yesterday that a coffee shop in town, near the downtown area, was closing today. I was kind of sad to hear it, since I had never been there. S had wanted to take me there on multiple occasions but it was always closed when we tried to go. Today at chapel I found out the reason it's closing—the church bought it. It's going to be Book and Bean Coffee, owned and operated by Calvary Chapel St. Cloud. This was incredibly exciting news, and to hear the story of what the pastor went through this past week really enforced the "waiting on God" ideal I aspire to.

Waiting on God is a big thing to me since I am relatively young, in graduate school for what I feel is my calling, and dating an awesome guy. My life could go in so many different directions, and I want things to happen now. I'm the MTV generation and I've used a computer since I was five and I want it now, Lord, or better yet, yesterday. Waiting is difficult, but it has a transforming effect, a growth effect. And with waiting comes great abundance, so I have nothing to fear.

It's something like 90 degrees out, and I've got to get some homework done, but maybe I will allow a little bit of procrastination in order to enjoy our pool sometime today.

When being the skinny girl sucks a lot

Now, I don't think about my weight on a regular basis at all, but lately (as in, the last few months) the topic of my weight has come up a lot around my house and in discussion with S. I honestly do not weigh myself even once a month, but when my exchange student mentioned that I looked like I "lost weight," I had to find out. I'm somewhere around 130, give or take a few pounds, but lately I guess it's more on the take side. S says, "So you're thin." This isn't really a problem, except in relation to clothing.

This past winter, I had to buy some new pants because my old ones were too big, bagging out. Pulled out my summer shorts and little shirts yesterday, and guess what? The shorts I bought for last summer now kind of hang off of me. I had to pull out a belt to make them work. I'm not anorexic, I swear I've been eating, including fast food, so what is happening to me? Shit, I just want my dang clothes to fit!

Andrea thinks it could be a parasite.

Collection development reading assignments

What I have to read for class this week:

Arizona Dept. of Library, Archives and Public Records. Selection of Library Resources; Collection Development Policies; Weeding

College of St. Catherine. Collection Development Policy

Minneapolis Public Library. Collection Development Policy

This is a subject of particular interest to me, partly since the current Collection Development Coordinator at the library where I work jokingly said I can have her job when she retires. It made me curious about what exactly she handles, and while I've read my library's collections policy, it will be (seemingly) interesting to compare and contrast.

I am a nerd.

I love technology

For next class, we're reading an article, "The Author vs. The Library" by Nicholas Baker from the New Yorker. The article was apparently available nowhere on the web, so we as students were supposed to go to a real library and copy it in order to read it. Then, last week in class we got our tour of the College of St. Catherine's library. The head librarian showed us a bunch of available items on the library's website, among them course reserves. Lo and behold, a scanned version of the article exists for St. Kate's students. I love technology.

My mom will probably read this

I always thought my mother knew I kept an online journal, but only recently (read: Sunday) did I find out she's reading the current blog. I don't know how frequently she's checking in, but apparently she found it via one of my cousin's blogs I have linked in my sidebar. I don't know what would be fascinating about my blog, since when I talk to her about some of the things I write about, her eyes tend to glaze over and she seems almost completely uninterested in the daily details of what goes on.

She also mentioned reading my sister's blog, and admitted going back and reading every entry. I think she's trying to find out about Andrea's not-boyfriend, Chris. But Andrea doesn't write anything specific in her blog, just these tiny little entries that only mean anything to her. I use my blog as a venting platform, and Andrea complains that I write "too much." So I asked my mom if she went and read my back entries, and she said no, "because they're too long." Some of my favorite bloggers write long essay-like passages describing single events, and I've picked up that style for some of my writing. If I write too much to even hold my mom's attention, there's no way I would ever get anything like a book deal out of this. It's totally for myself, anyway.

Water cool and cleansing

Went down to Minneapolis to hang out with Eve yesterday. We had lunch with her friend Sarah at Uptown Diner, then went to the wedding florist appointment with the Flower Guys. Roses will be in abundance, red and white, should be lovely. Eve was kind of nervous about the whole floral decision process, but Will Fee was really enjoyable and helpful. I would suggest him to anyone in the twin cities who's looking for a florist, and I'm not even planning a wedding. He had good advice and is extremely reasonable for price since they get the flowers wholesale from South America and... I really don't care about wedding flowers, so this paragraph is now completed.

After we got back to Eve's apartment, we took a walk around Lake of the Isles, and it was a wonderfully beautiful and warm day. I hightailed it over to St. Paul around 5 for my class, discussed the history of libraries, non-U.S. Tomorrow's class will be history of U.S. libraries, including Andrew Carnegie's contributions. I need to get some reading done on that subject.

S is now in Anchorage for a little while, so that has been nice. Have a couple rolls of film to pick up for him, hoping for some photos of him in the bunch.

When the sun comes out

My cold is not at all better today, so I'm lazing about, eating crap and drinking tea. Suddenly, the sun has popped out and I wouldn't mind going outside. I need to seriously attack my reading for the next week, but my attention span is whacked since I feel so crummy. Excuses, excuses. Listening to the three versions of Radiohead's "Thinking About You" that I have, pondering cleaning up my room in order to at least feel somewhat productive today.

Just wait around for me

Kind of half woke up this morning and was thinking about my weekend plans to possibly go to the grand opening of the new Minneapolis Central Library, and then drifted back to sleep. Was awoken by my alarm clock, set to Minnesota Public Radio's Morning Edition, and who was Mary Ann Combs talking to but the architect of the library, Cesar Pelli. Interesting chat, glad to hear people calling in, excited about the library. Maybe I won't go tomorrow, as I'm sure it will be crazy busy, but perhaps I could go early to the cities on Monday and check it out before class.

I have a somewhat annoying cold right now, and so does S. Based on our symptoms, we believe we have the same cold, more than 2,000 miles apart. I think he is headed to Anchorage today, said he would call while he was still in cell phone range and whenever he could. Yesterday he called me about six times, and on about the fifth call, I was like, "What's up? What's new?" and he said he is making up for the weeks when he hasn't been able to call at all. Nice, really nice.

I get to go into work a little later today since I worked a longer shift on Tuesday due to the Library 2.0 training, so today is a short five hour day. Then I really need to hunker down seriously with "Library: An Unquiet History" by Matthew Battles, since I need to have the entire book read for classes next week. Thankfully, I have Saturday through Monday off. This gives me time to read and still have free time in which to watch "Rosemary & Thyme." Ah, the priorities of my life.

Librarian 2.0—that's me!

Or, it will be in the future, anyway. Today's job-related training event was at the lovely Willmar Public Library, with Michael Stephens all about Library 2.0. I benefitted from being the youngest person in the room, since I'd heard of almost everything he brought up as a way to reach users and potential users of libraries. From MySpace to flickr to last.fm to podcasts to RSS to blogs, I was thinking, "Yeah, that would work..." or "Yeah, that would be easy to do..."

Of course, once I got home, I subscribed to bloglines and went to putting all my daily reads into it. Easy and will save me time, no doubt. Hence the new bloglines link on this site. I guess I didn't realize before how all these things I use for myself that make life more fun, interesting, and keep me connected with people could be used at work for work purposes. But they can, and that's all Library 2.0 is. Taking this stuff people use on the web and saying, hey, libraries can use this stuff, too, and that will connect us with young people and really anyone on the web with a web browser and maybe AOLIM.

I like to think that it's because my brain is growing

Horrible headache right now, upon waking up. Knew I should have taken some ibuprofen or paracetamol before bed (last bit is a nod to Alex, who said I am a "fan of England" and I corrected him and said, "Anglophile!"). I felt an oncoming ache in the car driving home from St. Paul and my very first graduate school class in Library and Information Science at the College of St. Catherine (or St. Kate's) but I did nothing, thinking I would go immediately to bed upon arriving home. Instead, I started watching series 2 of "Rosemary & Thyme" and listened to Andrea and Alex argue about whether what she was eating at the time (a glass of iced tea and about four pickles) constituted a "meal" or a "snack." Andrea said, "Snack," while Alex argued "Meal!" because of the two-component nature of... whatever it is she was eating. We tried to resolve the disagreement using Wikipedia, which gave creedence to Andrea's assertion more than Alex's.

I have to leave now for a training session for work on Library 2.0.

Boy is this ever accurate

So for some unknown reason, I googled S and came up with this article from his college days at the U of M Morris. The article captures him perfectly, his ideas going in a hundred different directions. It's really all his facets and interests that make him so enjoyable to be with, since he's such a conversationalist along with knowing a little about a lot of different things.

This evening I think I'll be hanging out with Simon and Eve, then maybe working on a little more homework before hitting the sack. Didn't sleep well last night, took a long time to drift off, kept thinking about happy and exciting things. What a change from last year.

Since U Been Gone

My Last.fm buddy Michael Byrne gave me a data disc with new music, which included some awesome Kelly Clarkson remixes. I am not exactly the type to listen to a lot of pop music, but Kelly Clarkson won her popularity and, I feel, deserves her level of fame, as opposed to someone like, say, Ashlee Simpson (coat-tail riding, etc). Anyway, the remixes are so uptempo and catchy, listening to them fueled me with energy and I started work on two of my homework assignments.

The assignment that is most interesting to me is the advertisement analysis, in which we are supposed to find job postings in our area of interest and determine the requirements and what types of educational experiences we will need to have in order to obtain these jobs. Not surprisingly, I have already bookmarked many sites for potential future jobs, and so it was basically a matter of printing out copies of the listings. This assignment isn't due for like two weeks but I am fascinated, both by what I've found and what my classmates might turn up. I know already that most jobs require something like 2-5 years experience in a library, and I'm wondering how this will play out for those who have no library track record.

The assignment that is due on Wednesday, the second day of class, is an analysis of survey data I had to collect on at least 10 people's sources for information and library use. The statistics were mostly unsurprising, and I'm able to explain my methodology and sound academic. It's kind of weird, this getting excited about homework thing. I'm not too keen on the readings I've had so far, except maybe a few sections of "Library: An Unquiet History" by Battles and the article by Sallie Tisdale from Harper's Magazine, "Silence Please."

I have to admit that homework is supplying a sufficient distraction from longing to see S. I think I still may be in some stage of grief, but coming close to acceptance. Plus, it is very nearly halfway through May, which means roughly four and a half months to go until he is done with his job in Alaska and can come back to me.

The unbearable Bethness of being

I slept a lot today, for no reason other than I could. Woke up around 11, watched some stuff on the DVR, fell asleep, woke up, read some Library Science stuff, went with Cata to get photos for her Colombian ID and dropped her off at SCSU for her final, came home and watched more stuff on the DVR, fell asleep again, woke up with a headache. Decided not to go see Andy Moor with Andrea and Cata and Mike and the gang; Chris is using my ticket. I don't think I'm sick, I just think I'm being lazy.

I went through my calendar just now and wrote in all the weekends that I work, so I'll know if I need to take any more vacation time for anything that's coming up. I think, somehow, that if I took a weekend course at St. Kate's, I wouldn't have to change my work schedule at all. It would perfectly fall into the normal pattern, which would be cool because I like working with the people I work with on Saturdays. Also, I have all the library's closed days on my calendar, and I'm not working many of them, which means I get paid and don't have to make up any hours, so it's like bonus free money! Since one of my recent goals is to pay off some of my debt, I guess this is on the right track.

Listening to some Edsel Gomez, "Cubist Music," and it's pretty rad. It's hard for me to believe it's almost 10 PM, and that I have the house to myself for the most part, and that I'm kind of wasting it on ripping CDs and looking at my calendar.

We're not breaking up

My coworker Amanda was looking at a book of bridal photography that she was about to check in. She said, "This looks so weird, who would want a dress like this?" and so on. Then she said something like, "I can't imagine being with someone all the time, wanting to be with someone all the time. Like, forever being together, married."

Another coworker who is divorced said, "Yeah..."

And I kind of looked blankly at both of them. Amanda said, "Obviously Beth doesn't agree with me."

I kind of smiled and said something vague, "Boys are nice."

"But then there's heartbreak."

And I said, "Oh, I know that, too. But some guys are really good. You might meet someone someday who will change your mind."

Our weekend starts on Wednesday

Fred Savage and the Unbeatables were rad on Friday night, hanging out at St. John's and somehow finding ourselves in the art building, empty of anyone else, poking around the half-finished pieces and looking at the printmaking equipment with Andrea and Chris. Ran into a bunch of people we knew, good to see Andy and Rich especially, and Tyler now that he's the lead singer for FSU. The new album, "Avoiding the Cubicle" is fantastic, and I love the "No Thanks" to "Opportunities for Tom in Japan," their former lead singer who is currently there.

Somehow when I listen to Hey Mercedes, I feel better about a lot of things, even when I'm feeling pale and tragic. Hence the name of this blog being a lyric from one of their songs. Rob Nanna rocks my face off. And I don't say that about every band, just the ones that really do rock. I like to be able to hear the testosterone behind the emotional lyrics. Hah. I remember being obsessed with "Quality Revenge" when I lived in Lincoln, Nebraska, probably for weeks on end. Listening to that song in my cubicle felt so good.

I keep meaning to start reading stuff for my class, but then I come up with ways of avoiding it, or my brain doesn't process all the words I'm reading after ten minutes or so, so I stop. This procrastination has to stop... tomorrow.

The Lord is glorified in this healing

In the last month, I haven't written much about my cousin Eddy, who was in a skiing accident in Colorado on March 5th and was in a coma. Currently, he's at Bethesda Hospital in St. Paul receiving care, and making an incredible recovery so far. Eddy is off the charts, and may be moved to a different rehabilitation facility in the coming weeks. He spoke his first words on April 10th and continues to respond correctly to conversation and questions, and also says things like "thank you" to his caregivers. He is holding his head up much better this week than last, and the doctors have told my aunt and uncle, "You will get your son back."

An excerpt from an update my cousin Simon sent last week included the following:

"Tonight I saw a transformed Eddy. He was so much improved in every
aspect that I believe it was a miracle from our Lord. I believe He
is using Eddy in powerful ways to minister to others by virtue of his
miraculous healing, and He will continue to heal Eddy until a full
recovery is made. The Lord's name is being praised here, and let us
never forget the lengths to which our Lord will go for us in order
that glory might be brought to Him."

What better place to publicly praise God than my blog? Hallelujah, Eddy is getting better every day and cooperating in his recovery, all with the Lord's helping hand. Thank you, dear Lord, you hear our prayers and are faithful.

Everything seems more symbolic in high school

Not that I'm depressed, but I just remembered bittersweets.org and found it in archived form. Some of them are really sad, and I remember being enamored of the original site when I was in high school.

Go figure.

Coming for to carry me home

Hung out with Chris and Andrea today at the mall. Got some very unnecessary shoes at the Gap but they were cheap and they're green flats, so why not? It's kind of a cloudy cold day, but in comparison to even early March, it's really nice, and everything has gotten very, very green since our four days of rain. Those days of rain made me feel sympathy for S and the endless amounts of rain in Alaska, everything being waterproof or dissolving over time.

Mac security is one of my least concerns in relation to my computer. The most annoying thing I experience with any of my gear is with my mouse, and it's a Kensington wireless, which, due to the design of my desk and where I have the little base sometimes refuses to work. That, and my white keyboard gets dirty, crumbs where you can see them through the clear plastic. Bring on the viruses, I say. It's still easier to fix a Mac when something goes wrong than it is to throw a Dell out the window when it gets infected.

S is in Skagway for a couple days, so I've gotten to talk to him, which feels like a luxury after a week with no communication whatsoever. I'm going to test the limits of General Delivery and the U.S. Postal Service by sending something to Juneau. We'll see if this works. If it does, the next thing to try sending is a banana. Or myself.

Thinking serious thoughts is good.

Everything was closed at Coney Island

After our friend Steph's dance show on Saturday night, a few of us (me, the lovely Jenna, and Donald) went to Old Chicago to meet up with another friend, Ashley, and her boyfriend, Josh who now live in the Cities. It was a good time, with $1.50 Long Island Iced Teas, discussing the modern dance we'd just seen, talking about random stuff, recalling other times together, and so on. More people showed up, more talking, and around midnight things started to dwindle as those who needed to be up early the next day left.

In a small side conversation, Josh asked Ashley, "When is Cinco de Mayo?"

Ashley and I could not help laughing, and she said, "That's like asking, 'When's the Fourth of July?'"