Update!

S graciously offered to drive to my school in order to pay for the lost library item. He hit the road around 1pm, and made it there, only to discover that the item had been returned, just not checked in. Eek! This happens occasionally at the library where I work, so I was sympathetic, but criminy! The librarian removed the hold on my account and I got into the two courses I wanted (Materials for Young Adults and Library 2.0 with Michael Stephens). Overall though, I just keep thinking, S drove an hour and a half to St. Paul and back for me. That's what we call "a keeper."

Guess who got me these lovelies when I was feeling crummy earlier this week

Delayed gratification is better anyway

S and I got to celebrate our anniversary on Friday after I met with my professor. We took the River Road to Dinkytown and ate at the Loring Pasta Bar. I had seafood spaghetti and S had orzo with asparagus and artichokes. We had tiramisu for dessert, and oh, it was fabulous. We got to hear a bit of jazz, too, as the band started playing as we were finishing up our drinks. It was a great time, and we just got to talk and have fun. Plus, the food was super yummy! I want to go back sometime soon, maybe with my cousin Simon and his wife Eve, as Eve mentioned Simon hasn't been there. Are you up for that sometime in December, Simon? A photojournal of the night:

First, I gave S my present to him before we left for the cities. I got him two mugs made in Japan, so we can have matchy mugs when we drink our coffee. He liked them and seemed impressed that they are really Japanese!



Next, S thought I looked cute while driving. Maybe that's why he tags along with me so often when I have meetings and classes in St. Paul?



S at the restaurant, enjoying his Irish coffee, which was more Irish than coffee, if ya know what I mean. The servers kept topping him up with coffee, though, so that was great.



Me looking dreamy. S took a bunch of these.



The guitarist took a while to set up, and S wanted to snap a photo of his gear for his cousin Nate. They were a good jazz combo.

Shot to bits

Anniversary plans got completely obscured by homework needs yesterday. S had a group meeting last night for a presentation today, and then tonight he has to work for his political science professor, calling for the next SCSU survey and I have a boatload of work to do for my professor and reading to do for class on Saturday, plus polishing my paper. So, I guess we're going to try to go out tomorrow night instead, when S tags along with me to St. Paul. I'm thinking we could go to fancy sushi at Saji-Ya, or try the Loring Pasta Bar, or possibly Staccato.

S did send lovely roses to work, though:





Here's to another two excellent years together.

It is what it is

The image on the left is of my hand (side note: with just about the longest fingernails I've ever had, a personal victory against biting—hurrah!). Not just any hand, my left hand. On my ring finger, you will note the pretty silver ring.

This was a little gift from S when we went to the Lemonade Art Fair on campus back in June, and he let me pick out what I wanted. I like jewelry, and I especially like silver, and things that are simple but shiny. I picked this out kind of last minute as were were leaving the fair, and it's a little too big (it's like a 6, and that finger is a 5.25, but it fits that finger the best). But it catches the light in a way I love, and it's from S, and I really like it. It has, however, garnered some attention.

One person asked if it was a promise ring, to which I said, "It's more like an 'I love you' ring..." and she seemed unconvinced.

A random dude at the library (who was probably about to hit on me) noticed it and said, "Hey! Are you married?!" in such an incredulous way, and I was like, "Me?!" and he said, "Your ring!" I didn't want to lie, and just said, "Naw, boyfriend."

The most startling, however, was the pastor's wife on Sunday, who came up to me and S and said, "Are you engaged?" I guess if you want to know the truth, it's best to ask, right? I kind of went "huh?" and she gestured to the ring, and I said it was a present from S from the Art Fair, and she said, "So it's like a promise ring."

Sigh.

Perhaps I was subconsciously looking for a ring that would be confusing for people, but mainly I think I chose this one because it wasn't some gaudy stone that would look tacky or fake. I like the simplicity of it. I'm not sure I like the attention, though. I wonder if women who do wear promise rings or 'purity' rings get the same reactions. Perhaps they wear theirs on their right hands.

Date night?

S and I had a bit of a disagreement at the beginning of our official dating relationship (to distinguish it from our friend relationship wherein we went on "denial dates" for many months). He thought it would be nice if we had a specific date night each week, wherein we would take turns planning a date and then make each other the priority for that night.

I, however, thought this idea was lame.

I had a number of reasons at the time, but I can't seem to remember them now. I think it was the idea of being forced to plan something, even if we weren't getting along, or feeling obligated to hang out with each other instead of getting things done, or maybe it was just that we hung out all the time anyway, so why make a specific night the "date night," when practically every night we were on a date, if you define "date" as "hanging out with someone you are interested in getting to know better." Our whole time together was one big date.

S was disappointed. He has close friends who have date night, and liked the idea very much. So a few days later, I came around. S planned a date night.

And then, he changed plans last minute to spend time with some family. This was not good for my need for order, but I went along with it, because I was still getting to spend time with him. I did tell him, though, that I thought date night was supposed to be just us. Then he didn't like the idea of date night so much anymore, because he couldn't switch things around to include other people. We then dropped the idea altogether.

Later in our relationship, I complained that we didn't get to go out on dates very much, and S remedied that pretty well. Then it went to zero dates while he was gone, and then just a long of hanging out once he was back.

Last night, I was surprised when he called me in the late afternoon and said he was going to take off work and wanted to take me out on a date. He did just that and showed up at my house at 4:30, dressed nicely. We looked at movie times and decided on our showing, then waited to get hungry by watching a Japanese movie, "Densha Otoko, Train Man" which was fitting since we planned to get sushi.

One delicious sushi dinner later (awesome California roll tempura style and a couple of pieces of yellowtail), and we were at the theatre enjoying "Spiderman 3." While it seems unlike me, I think I enjoy the spontaneous date night more than the planned one. I certainly wasn't expecting to even see S yesterday since he works until 10pm and I had to be to bed early to work at 8am, so it was great to have an unexpected evening of good food and even better company.

Little joys

Mostly, I am a cheeseburger, t-shirt, rented movie and coffee date kind of girl, but every once in a while, it's nice to put on something a little nicer and pay more than $5 for a meal, which is what S and I did last night. It was an actual date! I dressed and picked him up and we headed downtown to Ciatti's for some Italian food, pasta for the both of us, stuffed mushroom caps as an appetizer (gotta learn to make those things), wine (white zin for me of course) and a martini (S will now resume with the gin and tonics). S was such a gentleman and so sweet. Our candlelit table near the window, the tiramisu, S pulling my chair out for me—all of it, so very much appreciated.

Now I'm going to pick all the keys off my keyboard to clean it. I'm psyched!!

P.S. I think I discovered why I like white zinfandel as much as I do. Mostly, it gets described as a sweet wine with "strawberry notes" or whatever. Since I'm allergic to strawberries and can't have them, I must enjoy that aspect of the wine.

Reason #342 why S is the best

One of the things I've really appreciated about S is his willingness to call me. This is extremely helpful for the J aspect of my ENFJ personality, and he, as an ENFP, know this. He calls frequently, mostly to plan our time together, like today. I took the day off work, and we had vague plans to help with Toys for Tots, since one of his aunts works for the local non-profit organization that heads up the toy drive.

He called at 10 to wake me up and give me the scoop. I hopped in the shower, put on makeup, started getting dressed, and my phone rang again.

"Change of plans," came S's voice.

"Oh, yeah?" I said, interested.

"They passed out toys today from nine to noon. Tomorrow it's one to eight."

"So we'll go tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sound good?"

"Yeah!"

According to my made-up dialogue, S and I say "yeah" a lot. This is probably true. Anyway, I'm going to finish getting ready and start making some cookies for my library coworkers. S should be here any minute to help...

November 7: recap

The results from yesterday are in, in more ways than one. The elections are over (thank God) and the candidates I elected mostly won (sorry Patty Wetterling and Mike Hatch) but our anniversary date yesterday also went really well. S sent me flowers! At work! Red roses! With a sweet card! Great guy, my boyfriend.

For our date, first we stopped at the polls so I could cast my ballot (holy incumbent judges, Batman) and then went to dinner, which was delicious. He ordered my favorite appetizer, and I had a margarita (I'm a fan of tequila) while he had a Bloody Mary, and we talked for quite a while even after finishing our meals (Walleye for him, massive burger for me).

We then headed over to campus for the astronomy night at the planetarium. Yes, the planetarium! We wandered around my old haunt (Riverview, the English building) and played a game of Fluxx (I carry it with me always) which was decidedly the worst game of Fluxx ever played. Then it was back to my house for some more quality time. I'm tired today, but very, very happy.

I did ask him in the car if it seemed like we'd been together for a year. He thinks not, more like seven months, but I feel like we missed some of that in-between stuff since he was gone for a while, and all those little anniversaries (months six through eleven, if you're keeping track). Now it's all kind of daunting, because that year marker seems significant and possibly scary, but we're doing really well, as S always reminds me in my anxious states.

Thanks, S, for a great anniversary. I love you.

Celebrating

Not only is tomorrow a big day (Election day! Get out the vote!) for the nation, it's a big day for me and S. It's our one year anniversary of doing this thing called "our relationship." Yay for us, huh?

I am pretty proud of us, actually, since I believe this is the longest, healthiest, functional and loving and spiritually based relationship either of us has ever had. We have worked hard on this, especially recently and while he was gone in Alaska. It has most definitely been worth it. I think we are going to vote together and then go on a date (?). I don't really know, as I am leaving the plans entirely up to him, but I do have something to give him, and he said something about giving something to me, too..

Feeling cherished

Since cell service in buildings in Indian, Alaska is kind of sketchy, S and I used Gmail chat last night for a few hours of conversation. It's the first time I've ever used a communication form with S that was non-organic and real-time (for us, it's been e-mails since high school, phone calls, and in-person all the way) and it was kind of weird and fun. I tend to have to multi-task while I'm online (reading blogs, checking my accounts, listening to music, on Facebook or MySpace, etc.) so it was strange not giving S my complete attention, as he usually gets and deserves.

Something was agreed upon about a rice cooker, this much I remember. And that he cares about my sanity, which I think I already knew. After a while, we both slacked off with the chatting and then I decided to go to bed. After I had crawled under the covers and was coughing from my cold and trying to get comfy, my phone rang.

"It's so cold out here!" he informed me.

"So go back inside!" I replied. "You don't have to talk to me more."

"Yeah, I do. I love you."

Earlier tonight

On my oncoming winter pallor:

"Too bad there's no cure for paleness."
"A boyfriend who loves you."
"Aww... You are horribly cute, you know? Ridiculously cute."
"You should write that down."
"What, so I don't forget?"
"So you can remember I'm ridiculously cute."

At times, my brain fails me

Sometimes, when I am annoyed at some aspect of my relationship, like missing S to a serious degree, I get so caught up in wanting to fix the problem, make it better, reestablish harmony, that I forget how happy I am just to be dating S. Our "serious dating" was a long time coming, and hard won for me. When he did finally admit feelings for me, I nearly fell over.

We'd been "friends" for so long, I never thought anything would change. Whenever something would happen in my life, I would have the urge to tell him about it, but he was actually always the last person to know anything. If I felt stressed out or in a bad mood, I wanted to talk to him so much, but I wouldn't. He would call and we would basically talk about nothing. But it was good, solid nothing, if that makes sense. We would talk about family, but not personally, and religion, but not individually, etc.

I take it for granted now that when I want to share something with him, I can. I call, he answers, we talk about it, he encourages me or comforts me or is excited for me. Sometimes I randomly text message him, and he messages or calls back. It's great, this level of communication and commitment. I want to remember, though, that it hasn't always been like this. It's only been like this for ten months, and I feel more at peace now with my life than ever.

I fell in love again, all things go

S informed me yesterday that they were headed to the "backcountry," meaning the Mat-Su Valley and Nancy Lake, where he said there wouldn't be cell service. By now, after nearly five months of his being gone in Alaska, I was like, "Okay, no problem" to the idea of not being able to talk for two weeks or so. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself, etc. etc. Except he sounded pretty sad about it. I asked why he didn't tell me sooner that he wouldn't be able to call, so that I could have taken more time to catch up with him, offering encouragement and support and so on.

"I didn't want to think about it," he said. So we said our "I love you"s and then he was going to call his dad before they were out of cell range completely. I went to bed around 11pm and expected to sleep through until the morning.

Except my phone rang at nearly 1am.

"There's, like, one bar of service out here," S's voice on the end of the line.

I swear, I pinched myself.

I have no idea if that campground is their base for the next couple of weeks, but even being able to talk to him one extra time is the best gift ever.

Really don't want to have a Shirley Jones song in my head, but...

Today the name of my blog is really appropriate. I feel so joyful, it's almost ridiculous. I think it's what known as "being in love." At least, that's what it feels like, and the text message from S this morning didn't hurt, either.

Even serious, potentially completely scary conversations with him don't diffuse into awful arguments. He listens to me, I listen to him, and there's usually a conclusion we can both accept if not be totally happy about. That happened this weekend, and when I was filled with anxiety and felt hopeless, he was there, calling me, telling me he loves me.

If I break up with him, I give anyone permission to punch me. If he breaks up with me, I encourage anyone to punch him.

I wanna pack cute little lunches for my Brady bunches...

Gonna be totally honest here: serious conversations with my boyfriend about kids freak me out. He wants them—sometime, in a vague sort of life goal desire way, probably within the next ten years—whereas I am all, a human freaking being inside of my body? Like that's ever gonna happen, buddy.

I read enough (gag) "mommy blogs" (ungag) to know that motherhood has its ups and downs and it's rewarding and stressful and blah blah blah. Maybe I am just 25 and totally normal in not having an urge to be a mother anytime soon. But in a vague, oh, sure, possibly... in the future, yeah, I kind of do. What the heck? Ah, crap. Labor is one day and kids are the next generation, so it's probably worth it.

I really miss my boyfriend. I don't think I can express it any better than that. I know it's not like he's in Iraq and I can't ever talk to him, and I'm not whining, because heavens to betsey I am just blessed to even have a guy who calls when he says he will and adores me and has meaningful conversations with me. I just miss him, is all, this incredible man who can handle my anxiety and love me all the more for it.

P.S. I also really want a dog.

Anyway

The details of S coming back are getting worked out, and it's pretty exciting. I guess I just want one of those dramatic airport welcome-back displays of affection. I want there to be music and roses and running into each others arms, but more than likely, I will act like a dork and S will be just himself, and all the emotions will flood back and be 10,000 times stronger.

More than six months apart is a lot in the day-to-day sense, but not in the grand spending-our-lives together sense. Six months is a drop in the bucket if we live to be 80.

I remember at my grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary thinking that being married for that long would be impossible for me, because I figured even if I got married the very next day, I was already 24, and I'd have to live to 84, and more importantly, my husband would have to live that long, too. I still think it would be practically impossible, and it's not a competition for "years married," but yeah, anniversaries.

Listening to Paul McCartney's "Chaos and Creation in the Backyard." It's awesome.

Listening to Nellie McKay after having the album since May

Not exactly, but sort of. I don't buy all of the "called to singleness" arguments. It works as a good excuse to hide behind and not actively look for anyone to marry, but it doesn't take away the desire for a spouse. I certainly want to be married eventually, and I don't hide that desire from anyone except possibly specific extended family members who would then overly quiz and query me. I definitely do not hide it from my boyfriend. So, we'll see. But I like that song, and the sentiment it expresses. And guess who told me about Ms. McKay to begin with?

+10 points for anyone who guesses 19th letter of the alphabet!

Love letters and photos

Today is turning out to be a fabulous day off. I got letters from S, which are so great. I needed a reminder that he exists, and he also told me that his co-team leader has tons of photos posted to her myspace page and photobucket accounts. Seeing S having fun, working hard, and all the people he works with made me feel better. I've been missing him a lot recently, and it helps to know that he is okay, and still adorable as ever.

ENFP and ENFJ

I hadn't talked to S since early Sunday morning when he called last night. I was hanging out with Simon, Eve, Andrea and Chris in St. Paul, chatting about how awesome Simon and Eve's wedding reception was, and S called.

When I don't talk to S for a few days, I lose perceptive abilities and focus on making black and white judgement calls. It's the differences in our Myers-Briggs styles, so talking to S today really helped me sort out how I am feeling about my life as of lately. He doesn't need things to be so firmly defined, and he helps me see the many sides of an issue or problem. He's an ENFP to my ENFJ, and I love him for it.