Saturday, March 11, 2006

Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade

I almost want to rewind today and play it over again, but not quite. It was a mostly great day of sleeping in, talking to my boyfriend, S, having a nice lunch of Vietnamese food with my sister (Andrea) and her boyfriend (Chris). S and Chris got into a small side conversation about politics at lunch, and Andrea looked at me like "Wow they are SMART" which was funny.

And then later this afternoon, I got to see one of my uncles and talk about my cousin Eddy's condition. I guess I feel a little stressed but there's not much to be done about it, save a miracle that completely heals Eddy, which I believe is possible. And the other things causing me stress? Absolutely nothing to be done.

Maybe this should be private, or maybe it doesn't matter, I can delete this later if I feel it should be. But anyway, yeah. My boyfriend and I have what we call "the box" and it's like an extended metaphor or basically inside joke between us. Contained in the box are ideas and concepts that we have taken into consideration and set them aside to take some pressure out of the relationship.

The only way I can really describe it is to explain what is in "the box," and those things are of a serious nature, and a private nature, but they are things involving commitment, I guess specifically our commitment to each other. Things get taken out of the box on occasion, but mostly they stay in the box, although sometimes one of us will accidentally (or accidentally on purpose) take something "out of the box."

Today is approximately our four month mark for dating, and we agreed it was time for a quarterly review of the things in the box. I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't quite what I got. What I got was very helpful and meaningful, considered thoughtfully, and what I had to add to the conversation was pretty much nothing in comparison to what he had to offer me for his part. I feel kind of bad about it, because I feel like I am the one who wants to take the things out of the box, and he is the one who wants them left in, when in fact, he is thinking about them when I simply used the box as a tactic to avoid even thinking about them. Obviously, I need to do some thinking, and some praying.

I really am dating a simply awesome guy, a wonderful boyfriend.

1 comment:

jessrings said...

Beth, this is a great blog! I'm so excited that you started it! I'll have to bring my computer up at Simon's wedding and if I see you maybe you can help me with some HTML stuff. I can see that you know how to change the wording, fonts, etc. I have no clue! But I guess the content is the most important. I'll check back often!